...because you just might get it all...and then some you don't want.
This sounds very fitting in my situation, if you ask me. You see, for almost an entire year, I have been wishing, praying and preparing for this Work and Travel program that I so wanted to participate in.
It costs a lot of money to get it and one has to go through a lot of nerve wrecking interviews from sponsors, employers, embassy and other people. The process and papers were all long and quite difficult to answer. However, due to my perseverance and determination to get here to the US, I worked my ass off.
Now that I'm here, I'm starting to realize that it's not as fun as I hoped it will be. Maybe if I was actually assigned to a place or location where public transportation existed, I wouldn't be half as miserable as I am now. To add to that, I have to stand up, walk/run around the store, be yelled at by the owner and managers at work for 8-16 hours straight for 5 days a week!
I am not used to this life.
Now I fully appreciate the phrase "Home is where the heart is".
I want to go home. But I can't.
I don't want to waste the thousands of dollars that my parents, relatives and friends spent on this for me. I don't want to go home empty handed.
For once, I want to do something that I won't give up on. No matter how difficult it is. And boy, is it difficult!
It's for the experience, they say. I'll get used to it, they say. It'll get better, they say.
Well, it's not.
I hope and pray that it's June 1 already so I can get out of this place! First of all, to begin with, I hate beaches! So why the hell am I stuck in one for 3 whole months?! The sun, the people, the water, the sand - I HATE IT ALL!
Ride a bike, they say. I DON'T KNOW HOW!
At work, I frequently look up the ceiling just so tears won't fall down my cheeks. So many people tell me how lucky I am to be here...and I am! Not everyone gets to go to America.
But what I don't appreciate is where I am. I am not the kind of girl to be here. I'd appreciate a city. Not a beach.
Taxi/Cabs here are useless. You can't flag down or hail one off the street - you need to call one. And once you do, you need to wait at least 2 hours before the actual cab will pick you up and take you to the place you need to be. How many times have I walked down the sandy, drunk-filled beaches of this area? A lot! I don't enjoy it at all.
I want to fly off to California already to meet up with my family! It's so hard waking up every morning knowing that you'll be wearing a miserable neon yellow green shirt to work, stand up all day and walk to and from work for an hour!
I don't know why I'm here. I wish I'd know.
I got my wish, alright. Wrapped up in a package that I do not understand.
I want to leave Panama City Beach.
A.
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