My First Bicycle

     My first and probably my last one! Hahahaha. I do not intend to get another bike after this one. Yes, I am  proud to say that I know how to ride one now... But, I will never ride one unless my life depended on it! In this case, my stay in FL depends on it. So I got my own one. 

Red hoodie: Surf Style | Denim shorts: Lee | Mustache shoes: SoleMate

      I got this white and mint colored 26" Huffy bike at Walmart for $94.95 excluding the basket. But I so desperately wanted a basket that I bought one for $20 and asked the staff to put it on. I also had to buy a $5 bike chain and lock. 

      After buying the bicycle last Sunday, I had to ride it all the way back to our apartment which is 4 miles away! Half of the way, I walked while dragging the bike beside me. The other half, I spent riding and stumbling. Thankfully, I was able to get back home safely... but not from the sun! 

     As I was getting dressed into my comfy pajamas, I saw that I had tan lines! It looked like I was still wearing shorts even if I already took it off. My gosh, the sun here is harsh. I can't believe I actually got tan in that short time I was exposed to the sun. Sheesh. I wish bicycles came with roof or something.

     Anyway, I'd like to bring this back home with me. I know it's not safe to bike around Manila but I want to go biking with Pachig. Maybe we can go to Luneta or somewhere there. :) 

     Wouldn't that be nice? 

     A. 

     

Over Exposed

“Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.” - Helen Keller

     During my 4th freshman year in college (I wasn't held back or didn't repeat in school because I'm stupid or anything... I know you're thinking that!), I took up Basic Photography. 

     One of our first lessons were how to handle a manual SLR camera and the types of lighting. My favorite is over exposed. 

     If I am not mistaken, it is the kind of lighting where in the photo, more white is seen rather than the dark sides or part of the subject. 

     Only now did I realize that somehow, in life, it is better to see more light rather than wallow into the darkness. Especially now in my situation where I am tired every single moment of my life due to work and very homesick... I'm always in the verge of giving in to darkness. In this case, darkness being depression...not murder/evil kind of way. 

     Sunshine state, they call this place. Literally, the sun is always bright. It's annoying for me, really because I don't like the sun. Well, I don't like that it makes my skin go darker. But, I have been loving it on the sole purpose of giving me decent looking photos lately. 

     The trick is, it highlights your features and washes away the blemishes. ;) 

     

     Aside from the sunlight, of course, with some new editing and camera apps, I am able to manipulate the lighting some more. But not all the way through! I love the natural light. 

     This one, for instance has azure hues. I did it so that my eyes' color would pop out. I don't have blue or green eyes like most of the people here in FL do... But with a little tweak, having brownish black eyes helps me stand out from all of them. Which feels great! 

     If you're wondering why the shadows are striped... it's because I was sitting beside a window with blinds.  I think it adds more effect to the photo. I'll probably try to do it using lace. What great pattern will that turn out! ♥ 

     Remember, no matter how dark things may seem, just think positive! Think of that light at the end of the tunnel... you'll see and get there someday. We all will. 

     Not sure if it's Dumbledore who said it... but without darkness, we will never see the light. 

     Stay happy! 

     A. 

There Is A First For Everything

     Aside from stating the obvious in this post's title, I have come to realize that most of the time, the firsts are usually the ones you will remember. 

    First love, first kiss, first dance, first heartbreak, first car, first salary, first out of country travel, first cellphone, first crush, first accident, first book to finish, and so on and on and on... 

     In my case, I will forever remember my first time to travel around Panama City Beach alone. 

     Yesterday (March 25, 20130), I biked all the way to work (can you believe I actually rode a bike to work?! Hahaha. I can't) only to arrive there and find out that it was still my day off. Day before that, Sunday, it was my day off also. We were supposed to get our schedule for the week through e-mail but as usual, I received none. So when I got to work and looked at the schedule post on the refrigerator and didn't see my name on the Monday list, I was surprised and devastated. 

     I freakin' biked all the way here in the very cold morning which cause my fingers, toes and face to go numb and yet I'm not needed here at all?!?! 

     I biked home alone. 

     That was my first first for that day. 

     On that bike ride home, I got into another first. An accident. 

     I was almost home, biking on at Clara Ave., at the side of Hutchison Elementary School, when all of a sudden, I lost control of my bicycle and I hit the fence of the school. The impact wasn't that hard to flip me onto the air and land me a few meters away from my bike... but I did lunge forward, fell to the side beside my bike and grazed my hand onto the pavement. 

     I'd have to thank the freezing weather that my fingers were so numb that I didn't feel anything when I hit the ground...only when I got home and had my hand submerged in hot water to defrost it did I start to feel the pain of my fall. 

     A day off after another day off? That was a first. It almost felt like I actually had a weekend. But then again, what was I to do with my day? I didn't want to make time fly past me by going to sleep all day...although I do treasure sleep more than anything in this world right now. 

     I called a cab. 

     That was another first since I literally lost all hope and gave up on taxi/cabs here in Panama City Beach. I've branded them useless since every time I called for one in the past, none came after 2-3 hours of waiting. So when the operator answered the phone and told me that someone can pick me up in my apartment within 15 minutes, I literally jumped for joy! I have been in desperate need of a new pair of jeans since I only bought 2 on my trip here. 

     First time I went to the nearest mall, Pier Park, alone since I got here. It felt liberating.

First time to go out alone! All dressed in comfy clothes for the ultimate shopping experience!

Pier Park, Panama City Beach, Florida

     In the Philippines, I'm used to malls being indoors. Like one whole building with aircondition and walls all around... but here, it's different. We have malls like this back at home also but here, it still feels like there's an aircondition on no matter where you are. In fact, it's colder outside than it is inside the stores. It's crazy! 

     Of course, my first stop at the mall will and must be...

     Forever 21! Yes, no matter where I am in this world, this store will always be number one on my list of affordable yet fashionable clothes store. Here, I got a pair of jeans, 2 tank tops, a sleeveless shirt and a cardigan. 

     Second, I went to American Eagle Outfitters where I bought my first pair of jeans from their brand. I was so excited since they have everything at 40% off! Nothing beats the s-a-l-e word. It's a universal language for us shopaholics. 

     Next, I went to Sunglass Hut where I bought myself a treat: Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses! ♥ My first ever signature thing that I bought for myself. I've been working so hard that I felt like I needed to splurge on something for myself... so I did! It was like love at first sight for me and this D&G. 

      Aren't they a beauty??? It's made for me. I can feel it. I mean my head is big like literally. So sunglasses tend to hurt the side of my head/temples when I wear them for an extensive amount of time and this one never did. Also, I can pull it over my head and use it as a headband which not all sunglasses can. In my case, that is. ;) Sometimes, expensive really is better, huh? 

      If your'e wondering why there's a Chanel bag at the back of my sunglasses... well, it's because I splurged on another thing. But it's not for me! This one, I bought for my older sister Maple. I wanted to buy her something that will really make her happy since I won't be there to celebrate her 24th birthday this coming May. Also, she's been wanting something Chanel since I can't remember. And since we're not exactly rich to be able to afford such brands at any day, I decided to get her something. I couldn't afford the bag that she wanted so I got her the 2nd best thing she likes: sunglasses. 

     **Maple, if you're reading this, I know that you want the quilted purse but I can only afford the quilted sunglasses case. So here you go! Advance happy birthday! I miss you and I hope that you'll forever cherish this and not break it because I've worked so hard to be able to afford this. ♥ 

     Of course, since I'm going to New York (hopefully) and Los Angeles, I need some umph to my outfit since I don't own anything else that is branded. So I'll just use this. Haha. 

     Another first is my favorite word on my wrist! Not a tattoo if that's what you're thinking... it's this pretty BCBG wrist band! 

     I got it at Dillard's. It was my first time to go there as well. I also went to JCPenney and bought this cute little wallet. I've been dragging around this huge wallet of mine that carries my passport and plane tickets. But I don't want to anymore since I might lose it and stuff so I got this little cutie to stash my cash in and carry around! 

      Another and last first is my trip to Target. It's not my first time to go there but it's my first time to be there alone.  I bought the craziest and prettiest things I could find! But... I'll write a separate post on that. This one's too long already. 

     Anyway, I just want to say that whatever I'm spending with these... I earned it all. It's okay to splurge every once in a while. Just make sure that you take full responsibility for it. 

     If I learned one thing from my stay here, it's that earning money is hard. Money don't grow on trees. It's silly to say it but it's true. 

     I stand up for more than 8 hours a day just to be able to buy myself and my loved ones the things we like. So if your parents don't happen to buy or give you what you want immediately, don't hate them. It's hard to earn a living, you know. If you don't know... well, wait until your first job. 

     Oh and this is my first job! Hahaha. I can't believe I forgot that one. 

     Good night! Be responsible.

     A.

Goody Spin Pins

     I've been wanting this for the longest time. But in Manila, it cost a lot of money... I didn't want to spend 300-500 pesos just for a pair of hair clip. 

     However, in US dollars, it's cheaper (just don't convert it!). So I got myself this. And as I expected, I love it! It was worth the wait and worth my money. 

     It comes with instructions, of course...but as usual, I still do it wrong no matter how detailed the instructions are. 

     So, I tried it out and well... let's just say that no matter how straight my hair is, there are always little strands escaping the bows, ties and clips that I put on. It's frustrating, really. 

First time to try it our: fail! Hahahaha

     My biggest worry about it is that it may get all tangled up onto my hair like those round brushes that other girls love. I've had one too many times to have my hair all tangled onto those round brushes...and on some of those cases, I had to cut bits of my hair just to get it our. 

     However, I've used these Goody Spin Pins for about 5 times now since I got it...and so far, it has never once tangled up on my hair. No matter how messy my hair bun looks, it manages to escaped the tangles and come off easily. That's one of the reasons why I love it! 

     Another is, of course, how it makes my hair look afterwards: wavy! ♥ 

Messy? I love it! Adds volume to my hair

     Well, I hope you all discovered something you love this week. I know I did! :) 

     A. 

Sunshine State

     Now that I have transferred photos here in my laptop, I can share with you guys my daily view around here at Sunshine State or Florida. 

     I've been here for almost a month now...and well, I haven't hopped on a plane towards home, crying...so I must be doing good. Right? 

     But who am I to complain, really. I wanted this. So I must persevere and continue on working hard here. Even if most time I just want to cry and go back home. I have deeper reasons for being here than earning money, you know. 

     Anyway, here at Panama City Beach a lot of spring breakers are roaming around partying all day and night nowadays. Don't really care about them so long as they don't bother me. But it's disturbing how daily, I hear news about deaths and accidents concerning these people. Due to over drinking and partying, they either end their lives or their vacations early because they end up in jail. 

     Earlier today, my co-worker and I saw a young woman being questioned by the police at the side of the road. Based on what I heard as I walked past them, the woman was being sanctioned for drinking since she was underage, apparently. How did the police know she was drinking? She was "smart" enough to carry around a huge mug of alcoholic beverage in broad daylight at the middle of the main highway. Smart move. Now I don't know if she's in jail already or is being picked up by her lawyer and parents at the area's precinct. 

     Alright. Enough with the sad and disturbing fact about this place. If you look past all these drama... you'll see what a picturesque city it actually is. Empty and vast... it still is something. 

     Although personally, I would never want to live here. I don't like the sun and the beach. But for a vacation, why not? I bet my friends would want to go here. 

     I hope that you guys have been to some place that you love lately... 

     A. 

Bicycle

     Ever since I was born, I never learned how to ride a bicycle... without the training wheels. 2 thin wheels holding me just doesn't sound right to me. So, I never bothered to learn out of my 22 years of existence in this world.

     However, upon my arrival here in the US, everyone (and I literally mean everyone) I know have been telling me to "Go buy a bike!". 

     I'd love to, you know. Except for one little problem: I do not know how to ride a bike! 

    To them, this incapability is preposterous. Everyone here knows how to ride a two-wheeled vehicle. Except me. 

     In my defense, where I'm from, it's not safe to go biking. At least, not in my neighborhood. So why will I put my life in peril?

     But evidently, here in Sunshine State, bicycles are part of people's daily lives. I'm not surprised, though. The streets have their own bike lanes (we don't have that in my country), the view is spectacular (you wouldn't want to miss it by hiding inside your car), the weather is perfect for biking and my most hated reason: there's no public transportation!!! 

     So it's either you have a car or you walk for more than an hour just to get to places. Period. 

     That's why the other day, as I came home from work, I asked our Thai house mates to teach me how to ride a bicycle. It's against my pride and belief but what the heck... I don't want to walk to and from work for more than an hour every day! So up the bike I go. 

     After just 10 minutes, I was finally able to learn how to ride a bike on my own - sans the training wheels! I am not bragging, I am just proud of my achievement. The Thais said I was a good student because I learned quickly despite my fear of falling off and scraping my skin on the pavement. 

     My only issue now is I don't have a bike. I searched for a pretty one at Walmart's website and I found 2 that I like... Now I just need the time and someone to accompany me on buying one. 

     Wish me luck! I hope I don't fall off and get reprimanded for not wearing a helmet - I have no intentions on buying and wearing one! That's just unfashionable. 

     Hope you had something you achieved this week! :) 

     No matter how hard life is, always have faith. ♥

     A. 

Be Careful What You Wish For...

...because you just might get it all...and then some you don't want.

 

     This sounds very fitting in my situation, if you ask me. You see, for almost an entire year, I have been wishing, praying and preparing for this Work and Travel program that I so wanted to participate in.

 

     It costs a lot of money to get it and one has to go through a lot of nerve wrecking interviews from sponsors, employers, embassy and other people. The process and papers were all long and quite difficult to answer. However, due to my perseverance and determination to get here to the US, I worked my ass off.

 

     Now that I'm here, I'm starting to realize that it's not as fun as I hoped it will be. Maybe if I was actually assigned to a place or location where public transportation existed, I wouldn't be half as miserable as I am now. To add to that, I have to stand up, walk/run around the store, be yelled at by the owner and managers at work for 8-16 hours straight for 5 days a week!

 

     I am not used to this life.

 

     Now I fully appreciate the phrase "Home is where the heart is".

 

     I want to go home. But I can't.

 

     I don't want to waste the thousands of dollars that my parents, relatives and friends spent on this for me. I don't want to go home empty handed.

 

     For once, I want to do something that I won't give up on. No matter how difficult it is. And boy, is it difficult!

 

     It's for the experience, they say. I'll get used to it, they say. It'll get better, they say.

 

     Well, it's not.

 

     I hope and pray that it's June 1 already so I can get out of this place! First of all, to begin with, I hate beaches! So why the hell am I stuck in one for 3 whole months?! The sun, the people, the water, the sand - I HATE IT ALL!

 

     Ride a bike, they say. I DON'T KNOW HOW!

 

     At work, I frequently look up the ceiling just so tears won't fall down my cheeks. So many people tell me how lucky I am to be here...and I am! Not everyone gets to go to America.

 

     But what I don't appreciate is where I am. I am not the kind of girl to be here. I'd appreciate a city. Not a beach.

 

     Taxi/Cabs here are useless. You can't flag down or hail one off the street - you need to call one. And once you do, you need to wait at least 2 hours before the actual cab will pick you up and take you to the place you need to be. How many times have I walked down the sandy, drunk-filled beaches of this area? A lot! I don't enjoy it at all.

 

     I want to fly off to California already to meet up with my family! It's so hard waking up every morning knowing that you'll be wearing a miserable neon yellow green shirt to work, stand up all day and walk to and from work for an hour!

 

     I don't know why I'm here. I wish I'd know.

 

     I got my wish, alright. Wrapped up in a package that I do not understand.

 

    I want to leave Panama City Beach.

 

     A.

Hey!

     Yay! I have just received a package from my Uncle in Utah...and now, I have a laptop! I know it's not that big a deal to some of you but...when you're far from home and there's not much to see around the place you're at, you are going to want a computer where you can watch, download, type, save and do things that not even smartphones can completely satisfy.

 

     However, this is completely eating me alive. Seriously. I keep pressing the wrong things with the cursor because Windows 8 is not that friendly... in comparison with Windows 7, that is.

 

     Aside from this new laptop, something else came in today: new roommates. They're 2 girls from Thailand. Which is nice since we instantly have something to talk about since I was in their country just late last year. It's really funny because they haven't been here in our apartment for more than 5 minutes and already, they went up to our neighbors and knocked on their doors to borrow vacuum cleaners to clean our home's carpet.

 

     You might be wondering why I didn't bother doing that since I've been living here for more 1 week and 3 days already but I have an excuse! Not just because I'm lazy but also because I want to transfer to a different apartment -- one that is closer to my work location.

 

     During my first day at work, I had to walk for more than an hour just to get home! The bus or trolley in this area is so scarce! And the taxis/cabs? They take forever to arrive after you call them. You can't just flag or wave them down like in the big cities... So it's more difficult.

 

     To add to that, spring breakers are all over the area! So many drunk people. Not to mention half naked people are walking around...acting all drunk and jerky and bitchy. But... to put it in their words, they're simply having fun. Which, I obviously do not get.

 

     No photos today, though. I haven't transferred my photos from my iPhone yet. And the laptop's empty for now.

 

     Talk to you all tomorrow! ;)

 

     A.

Panama City Beach

Okay. I've been here for 3 days and I'm too scared to come out of the apartment. First of all, it's really cold outside! Yes, it's sunny...but the breeze is freezing. I don't get how people are still able to go to the beach and swim! Oh well...maybe I'm just not used to the cold weather.

Anyway, it's getting lonely up here. I'm sad most of the time...thus, I take less photos. There isn't anything for me to do. The bus stop (if there's any at all) is too far from the apartment I'm living in! Walking isn't really my thing...especially on this kind of weather. Well, I got my wish though... I'm here in America. Wish I knew someone around here though. Someone I can call a "friend" and go out to eat with and share stories with. But I don't have that.

Spring break is next week. Many have been telling me that people (especially young people) will crowd in from different places to go here and party all day and night. It's not really my thing...but I can't avoid it.

I pray and hope that it doesn't stay sad and lonely for me here. Otherwise, I'd go crazy. Time difference sucks! Wish I can talk to my friends back at home.

A.

Bye Philippines!

March 4, 2013, I hopped on a plane at 8am to America.

Well, not America straight ahead... I had to ride 5 different connecting flights to reach my destination which is Panama City Beach, Florida.

My sisters and grandfather drove me to the airport. If I hadn't been running late, I could've stayed longer to take a photo with them. But... I wasn't able to. Which makes me really sad now. I won't be seeing them for more than 3 months. And that's kind of a BIG deal for me. I haven't been away from them for that long even during the time that I was living in a dormitory up at UPLB.

Anyway, I'm now using Blogger App on my iPhone. So i don't know how this will look like on the page, but this'll have to do for the meantime. I'm gonna get my laptop tomorrow so maybe then I can fix it up.

I miss you all! I miss Philippines! Even if i've only been gone for 3 days.
A.